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 too good to be true

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miss melanie
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Registration date : 2009-04-10

PostSubject: too good to be true   Thu Jun 11, 2009 2:26 am

Hi folks,
Not sure if this is the right place but seeing as I cosmically ordered something and got it it seems like it.
To cut a long story short, I cosmically ordered a guy, have been on my own for a long time and would like to share my life with someone. Anyway, I got him, and we've been getting on great, sending text messages, talking on the phone. still got to go on a date tho, sort of trying to get to know each other. It now appears that its not all as rosey as it at first seems, as hes currently in hospital being treated for depression and get his meds sorted out. Now don't get me wrong, depression is a b-itch and I have nothing against people who have it. I just dont think I can be his band aid and cope with all that his serious depression brings with it, not to the point I was maybe hoping we'd get to, without him being strong enough to deal with it first.
Really dont know what to do now.

(why do I always attract guys with problems?)

miss melanie
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Pat R
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Number of posts : 481
Age : 67
Registration date : 2009-03-07

PostSubject: Re: too good to be true   Thu Jun 11, 2009 5:26 am

Hi Melanie,
:rose: Is this the guy who brought you the roses? If so, sorry he's got problems through depression, but then again it's better to attract a guy with a problem, than a guy that causes you problems (like the blokes I married). Maybe you've been sent this particular guy to help him overcome his depression (sometimes love can do that). Depends whether his depression's been caused through circumstances or if it's chemical imbalance.
I know what you mean about feeling you don't want to take on a relationship until he's strong though, as you've had enough to contend with in the past.
After my last marriage ended in 2000, I did tele-dating for a while and met several emotionally 'damaged' guys. This was the first time I'd ever seen men who'd been damaged by women, I'd only ever seen the other side of the coin. Anyway I met one guy S who was still very hung up over his ex girlfriend (and who also had a drink problem). Though we never 'got it together' as a couple, we did become really close friends. We've now been friends for 8 years and S has helped me a lot whenever I've had car problems etc. He's told me he loves me to bits as I'm his best friend and like a sister to him. He's turned his life around a lot since we met and S knows I'm always here for him when he needs a friend, but I know he's also there for me too. As far as I'm concerned you can never have enough good friends, and, even though S didn't turn out to be the love of my life, I love him to bits as a friend and he's like family. :huga:
Another guy (K) I met through tele-dating that I went out a couple of times turned out to have just 18 months to live. Crying or Very sad He'd taken an overdose after his wife ditched him which had damaged his liver. He was drop dead gorgeous and there was definitely chemistry there, but that wasn't meant to be either. He told me he felt he could talk to me and felt so peaceful after this, when he dropped the bomb shell about his health, he told me we had no future and he couldn't stand the thought of me watching him deteriorate and die. Told him I could live with that because I'd rather have a few months with someone really special, as years with 'bar stewards' like the guys I'd married. He wouldn't listen and I respected his wishes. Four months after I met Frank who's still my partner. A month after I met Frank, K rang and spoke to my daughter. He said he felt he'd turned his life around after meeting me, he'd moved house, changed jobs and his hospital also upped his 18 months to 3 years. (I swear this is the truth - Believe me, Mel, I often said the words 'Why me Lord? while I was doing teledating, someone kept sending me 'damaged' men just so I could help heal them) which was a b......er at times, but proved a great learning curve for me. Also it might not seem likely, it did boost my confidence even though it didn't bring a lot of passion into it.
Frank (who's also been emotionally damaged by past relationship too) has brought such a lot of magic into my life, foreign travel and fun, so I don't regret tele-dating at all. Maybe you two could be good for each other too? Whatever you decide I wish you lots of love and fun. Don't know if you noticed this yet, but Enigma set up a new section at the bottom of the forum called 'Spreading the Light', it's got some fun things in it. cheers

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dreamer
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PostSubject: Re: too good to be true   Thu Jun 11, 2009 12:28 pm

Hi Mel, :bouquet:

Nothing is straight forward in life... dont give up on this yet, there is a reason why you to have been brought into each others lives. And like Pat says so much healing :healing vibes: could come out of this... for both of you.

love sunny Debbie xx
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