How I began my Spiritual Quest - Pat R's story

Admin Number of posts : 481 Age : 73 Registration date : 2009-03-07

How I began my Spiritual Quest is quite a long story, but I'll be happy to share it with you. Basically, I believe my life just led me down a pathway that ultimately ended up with me being where I am today spiritually. Many mediums say they can remember having spiritual experiences from a very early age. I honestly don’t know if that was true in my case, as I remember very little about my childhood. My childhood was fairly traumatic, so I dealt with it by blocking out most of my childhood memories. Let me tell you a little about my formative years. Throughout most of my life, my mother was probably the one stable thing I had. When I was just a few weeks old, my father walked out so I grew up with no father and never knew him. To support my older sister and me, mom worked six 12-hour night shifts as a psychiatric nurse. Most days I hardly saw my mother and only got to spend any quality time with her on the one day a week she had off. While I was growing up we lived with my grandparents, so my grandmother could care for my sister and I while mom was working. Unfortunately, my grandfather was an alcoholic who used to beat my gran almost every night. As a child, I spent most of my time playing on my own to get away from the fights and arguments. That's probably why I grew up a very shy, sensitive kid who lacked self-confidence and who grew up desperately longing for love.

A year before I got married for the first time, my grandmother died. She suffered a stroke and died 4 days later. The last words she uttered before the stroke took her speech were: ‘If I’m going to be paralysed then I will die, I don’t want to be a burden on anyone. I’m not afraid of dying and when I die I will always watch over you!’ A week before my gran died, she was about to rinse out the tea-leaves in her cup when all the colour drained from her face. Mom asked what she’d seen (which I found strange at the time) but gran wouldn’t tell her. All gran said was there would be lots of tears shed very shortly. It was only after she died, my mother told me my grandmother had been a medium and was well known, at one time, for reading tea-leaves. I now believe my grandmother saw her own death in the tea-leaves. During the war years, she’d visited spiritualist meetings many times and was a very gifted medium, but gran was afraid of using her gift. One of my biggest regrets in life, is I was never able to ask my grandmother about her mediumship skills. However back then, I never thought for a moment that mom and I would follow in her footsteps. As a family, we’d never talked much, particularly about spiritual matters, every one was constantly on edge due to my grandfather’s violent outbursts.

I got married for the first time when I was 18, to a man who turned out to be extremely abusive (in every sense of the word). Apart from the abuse, he had 50 jobs in the 5 years we were married. Every day, he told me I was a lousy cook, a rotten wife and mother, I was stupid, ignorant and dirt under his feet. He truly did a great job brain washing me! After 5 years, I couldn't stand his abuse any longer so I finally walked out carrying 2 suitcases and my 3 year old son. I left Scotland (where I'd been living) and came back to Sheffield to stay with my mom. I went to work at Middlewood Hospital where I later met the man who was to become my second husband. It was while I was working at Middlewood, that I had my first ghostly encounters. The first sighting occurred just 5 weeks after I first started working at the hospital (before I became a spiritualist) the second occurred 5 years later (about a year after I first started going to church). On the second occasion, a friend and colleague saw the same ghost.

It was the breakdown of my second marriage that first brought me into Spiritualism. I idolised my second husband and when I came home one day to find he'd left without any warning, all I wanted to do was end my life. I'd already gone through hell as a child and during the 5 years of my first marriage. Losing my second husband felt like the end of the world to me. It was at that point I first started to feel my grandmother around me. She impressed me to go and find a spiritualist church so she could communicate with me. Neither mom nor I had ever been to one before, so I was very scared the first time I set foot in a Spiritualist Church in Sheffield.

The first person I met in that Open Circle was a medium called Flora. Meeting her changed both my mother’s life and mine forever. My gran came through straight away and told Flora to tell us she'd always been afraid of using her gift when she was alive. Now she had passed over, she deeply regretted this. Gran said she didn't want me, or mom to waste our spiritual gifts too. I'd no idea what this meant, neither mom nor I were aware that we were mediumistic too. Flora told mom, if she chose too, she could be standing doing what Flora was doing in 12 month’s time. Gran said she'd stand by mom's side when mom took her first platform service. My mother began picking up spirit messages almost immediately after she’d received this message, and she did take her first full service as a medium 12 months later. By nature, my mom was always an introvert, but I’d become the more ‘gobby’ outgoing one (as you'll have gathered by now). Mom could give clairvoyance (spirit messages), but she couldn't do the prayers or philosophy parts of a service (philosophy's a bit like the sermon a vicar gives), so I stood up there with her and did those parts for her. Eventually I started picking up spirit messages for people too. Mom would then ask if I'd got anything to give while she was taking a service and I would pass on the messages I’d got. Together we served most of the churches in South and West Yorkshire. Mom also served churches in Scarborough, Chesterfield, Mansfield and other places too.

I had health problems for over 20 years and that ultimately led me into spiritual healing, first as a patient and later I became a healer, as did my mother. We joined both Yorkshire Healers Association and Guild of Spiritualist Healers and we used to go out to patients via YHA and we did healing at church under the Guild's insurance. For many years I wrote spiritual poetry and I also received some inspirational writings. Some of the poems I wrote, along with others my ex husband wrote, were later put together and these were sold to raise money for Leukaemia Research in Wakefield and York. They were also used to raise money for The Meningitis Trust in Cleethorpes.

Shortly after my family moved to Wakefield, I bought mom a pack of tarot cards for Xmas and she began learning them. Shortly afterwards she started doing some ‘mini-readings’ to raise money for Wakefield and other spiritualist churches. Soon people started queuing up to see mom for tarot readings. Mom and I used to spend 5 nights at church doing our committee work, and also taking services, I ran the Lyceum (Spiritualist Sunday School) and I also played the organ (not very well, I might add). Mom ran development classes at church and also at home. When she wasn't doing that, she often did tarot readings at home too (my home, as mom lived with me for many years).

In 1982, I met my last husband in Wakefield Spiritualist Church. He first came to church because he needed someone to explain things that had been happening to him. At the time he worked at a hospital, he'd been having lots of spirit experiences and he'd no idea why. We eventually got together, married, and he's the father of my daughter. Her dad was capable of going into trance and had extraordinary psychic and spiritual abilities. Many times spirit would speak through him, to me, while he was asleep. He'd often receive information from spirit, which he'd write down. We'd then go off on our 'Spiritual Adventures' to try and find out if the information given was true or not. It always was. It's those experiences (and others) my family and I shared that I put together to form a book (entitled ‘There are more things in Heaven and Earth). I first started writing this book in August 2000. It was approximately 10 pages from completion when my mother died. Mom was everything to me, she was not only my mom, but my best friend, my mentor, my spiritual co-worker and my rock. After her funeral, I put the book away and I didn’t touch it again for 7 years. I've only just started working on it again as a lot of it is now in the past tense (due to mom’s death and other factors that have changed in my life). My third marriage (which had lasted 17 years) ended on Valentine's Day 1999, less than a year before mom died, so I had little time to do anything except care for my daughter. As a family we shared many amazing experiences together.

This is how I came to do readings. Back in 1985, mom tripped, fell and fractured her hip and she took a long time to recover. Shortly after her accident, mom had 3 people coming up from London to see her for readings. She had no way of letting them know she was too ill to read their cards. When they arrived mom announced (without telling me first) 'I'm sorry but I'm not well enough to read your cards, my daughter Pat will do them instead!' I was mortified, I'd only ever done readings for family and friends, but mom insisted I could, so I had too. It was really hard for me doing those first few readings. I was so afraid of letting not only the clients down, but mom too. Anyway, I must have done something right as people came back to see me again. They also used to pass my name on to other people, so I ended up taking over where mom had left off. I never advertised and never wanted to do readings as a profession. I only did readings because people wanted me too and I said when they didn't want me too any more, I'd happily stop.

In 1994, I became and Adult & Further Education tutor and I taught IT for 10 years. However, a colleague asked me if I’d be prepared to run a psychic awareness course at a local School one evening a week - so that started that off. (I’d taught psychic awareness before at a Spiritualist Church that I’d helped a friend start up in a Town Hall several years earlier). I ran a couple of psychic awareness courses for Leeds and Wakefield Council and these proved very successful. My courses lasted 6 weeks and each session lasted 2 hours. Many students asked if I’d be prepared to carry these on after the 6 weeks were over, but due to family commitments (my mother's health was deteriorating by then) I could never commit myself to longer courses. However, 2 ½ years ago I was asked to run another Psychic Awareness course and when the sessions were over, 4 students begged me to carry on teaching them. For over 2 years, we continued meeting up regularly (usually once a week). We only stopped meeting up when one of the girls moved to Barnsley. As the other girls relied on her to give them a lift, we had to stop, but we all remained really good friends. The girls said they’d like to join in if I ever started another psychic awareness group. Thanks to the people I’ve met through Spirit and Destiny, I'm now running a monthly psychic awareness group (which does include the girls from my last group).

So there you are, that’s how I became what I am today, much of this (as you can see) was ‘thrust upon me’ but I wouldn’t have missed any of it for the world. I’m 58 years old now and I feel it’s important that I pass on what I’ve experienced to others, in the hope this will encourage others to follow their own spiritual pathway. Many times, my faith in God and my belief in Spirit is all that’s kept me going. I've also come very close to dying 3 times now (the last time was in January 08. The fact I didn’t, I owe to God and to prayer. I've done a lot of that in my life, not only for myself, but also for others so I know it works. I never thought this time last year when I nearly died, that I'd be here chatting to everyone on this forum, or that I would be asked to teach on-line psychic awareness. Just goes to show God and his spirit messengers obviously don't want me 'up there' yet. They're probably enjoying the peace too much to let me disturb it!

Well, I've bored you enough with my life story, so why don't you tell me all about yours?

Gosh Pat, you've lived such a rich life! I feel mine has only just started in comparison so i have hardly anything to add. The wierd thing is i almost feel like YOUR life has only just begun as well! Odd that! I look forward to talking to you. :bouquet:

Admin Number of posts : 481 Age : 73 Registration date : 2009-03-07

Hi Lilli,

I'm 59 this August, so I've had plenty of years to go 'through the mill' (or should that be the ringer, judging by all these wrinkles I've got?) several times over lol!

but, all in all, I'm now pleased I had that kind of life because I feel it made me what I am today and allowed me to meet and help many people over the years. Can't believe in late 2007, I truly thought my life was coming to an end (and it nearly did when I had my op), but I accepted this because I thought my spiritual life and my teaching days were all over. I hadn't been able to do much spiritually for nearly 4 years and I really missed that part of my life, because that's what given me strength to overcome my problems . Boy - was I ever wrong! God's not about to open them Pearly Gates for me just yet (reckon spirit are enjoying their peace too much, to let me disturb it). As you say, I do feel many things (I never expected) have only just started for me and these things began the day I joined Spirit and Destiny!! If I'd never joined that (2 months after having broadband installed for the first time ever at my home), I would never have met all you lovely people and SQ would never have been created. Thank you all for supporting me and SQ. :tyou:

Hi Pat, you really have lived, but sorry to hear you had to live with all that abuse, they'll get what they deserve! And thats really interesting that you went to a spiritualist church, I've always wanted to go and see what its like . Do yous talk about God? Do you still go?

Well I've only been here for 20 years lol!

, so haven't lived much. My mum and dad split up when I was 8 and divorced when I was 12/13. I left school after 6th year, with 5 Highers and 2 Intermediate 2s, and went straight to Queen Margaret University to study Psychology and Sociology and now going into my 3rd year. Don't really know what i want to do after Uni, career wise anyway hehe, thinking of something in the social care sector, maybe social work, been asking my tarot cards, but still trying to figure out what they're saying haha. Have always been into crystals, and the tarot etc, since high school, but just recently been wanting to take it further. Have a lovely boyfriend whose 2 years older than me, and who I love very much. We'll have been going out for 2 years in febuary Laughing

. well that's all thats happened in my life so far lol!

.

Love K x

sunny

Admin Number of posts : 481 Age : 73 Registration date : 2009-03-07

Hi K,

Thanks for your message and for telling me about yourself. Really pleased you've done very well academically and that you've got a lovely partner (as that's such a comfort particularly when you've grown up with divorce and family separations). Must admit I've had a full life (often a bit too full of crappy men, but you can't have everything can you (LOL)?). I wouldn't want to live my life over again, but I'm happy I experienced my life as I think it definitely made me into a much stronger person. I've also had many truly wonderful and amazing spiritual experiences which have definitely strengthened my faith in God and the Spirit World. I definitely believe in a Higher Spiritual Power which I refer to as 'God' but I don't regard myself as a religious person at all, I just think of myself as a seeker of the truth (and accept there are many pathways we can tread that will all lead to the same truth in the end - that life is eternal). Most spiritualists refer to 'Father God' in prayers, but that doesn't mean they'll force their beliefs upon others. Father God's just another name for what spiritualists regard as the Supreme Spirit Force. Some call this spiritual force Mother Nature, Cosmic Consciousness, Buddha, Allah, Mother Goddess etc, I've got no problem with that and most spiritualists wouldn't have a problem with how others perceive spirit either. After all, spirit guides don't refuse to come to mediums because they don't belong to the same ethnic background or belief system that their guides once had. Native American Indians pray to Great Spirit and many NI prayers echo exactly the same sentiments you also find in Christianity, Islam, Buddhism or Wicca/Paganism (like respect for others and for Mother Earth). 'Love Ye One Another' is a good way to live one's life, no matter what book or religious background it comes from, 'Do what thou wilt but harm none' that Wiccans/Pagans believe is also good too. That's why I enjoyed visiting the Unitarian Church, because ministers often use prayers and pieces from every world religion and belief system.

I spent many years within Spiritualism (and still regard myself as a spiritualist) but don't go to spiritualist church often these days. Still go from time to time, particularly if friends invite me to join them, or if someone wants me to accompany them as they've never been to church before. I've met lots of lovely people through the Spiritualist movement and I've got many happy memories from the time I spent in churches, particularly the services mom and I conducted at churches. For many years, I used to spend 5 nights a week at our local spiritualist church (mom, several close friends and I were all committee members), most weekends mom and I took services together at churches throughout Yorkshire and when we weren't doing that mom (who lived with me) also held developing circles at church or home circles at my home. In 1982, I bought mom a pack of tarot cards for Christmas, she eventually ended up using them for readings and raised lots of money for different churches. When mom finally gave up readings due to ill health, I then took over (reluctantly I might add, I didn't think I could ever live up to mom's). Spent years verifying spirit messages so enjoy the investigative side of spiritual matters. A couple of years ago, I thought the spiritual side of my life (which has been a huge part of my life since my late 20's) had come to an end. I never thought I'd continue my work through joining S & D forum and ultimately create this forum. This just shows you never know what life (or those in the Afterlife) has got planned for you!

Lovely chatting to you. Hope, one day, you do decide to visit your local spiritualist church. When I first began going, over 30 years ago, people were very skeptical and would look at spiritualists as if you were all deluded or weirdos. Today, most people have watched Most Haunted, The Sixth Sense or one of the many paranormal programmes there are on TV. This is good because it means you'll now find lots of young, budding mediums at spiritualist churches these days. I'm pleased I've lived long enough to see this. My gran was a medium and, in her day, spiritualists had to meet in secret in little upper rooms. Only a few years ago, mediums only demonstrated in spiritualist churches, now anyone can go and see Stephen Holbrook, Colin Fry, Tony Stockwell at local theatres and other public venues. I reckon one day the paranormal will be regarded as the 'norm' by most people. At least when that day arrives, folk like us won't have any difficulty finding like-minded people to chat too anymore.

Have a lovely day. :ghug:

» Why Spiritual Quest...
» What led you to begin your Spiritual Quest?
» Hello I'm Pat R, founder of Spiritual Quest forum
» What first led me into Spiritual Healing by Pat R
» Looking to make Spiritual email buddies ...